The Legend of Bugsy- Oracle of Candies
by Corrector9Yui
Summary: A parody of the Legend of Zelda, Oracle of Ages/Seasons using Pokemon characters. Whitney has captured the Oracle of Candies! Now a girl from another world must find the 8 Essences of Sugar to restore hyperactivity! Chapter 7 up!!
1. The Adventure Begins

The Legend of Bugsy – Oracle of Candies  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, or Legend of Zelda. Enough said.  
  
Cast of Characters  
  
Link- Yui  
  
Princess Zelda- Bugsy  
  
Oracle of Candies- Morty  
  
Villain- Whitney  
  
Oracle of Secrets- Jasmine  
  
Maku Tree- Dunsparce  
  
Bipin & Blossom- David & Misty  
  
Vasu- Pryce  
  
Impa- Clair  
  
Shopkeeper- Chuck  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Everything is black. Yui comes spinning onscreen, covered with weird purple light.  
  
Voice: "Accept our quest, hero!"  
  
Yui: "What?"  
  
Voice: "Johto is in great danger! You must protect it!"  
  
Yui: "How did I get here?"  
  
Voice: (sighs) "Just go save Johto already!"  
  
Yui falls and blacks out. She wakes up on the ground in a weird place (Ecruteak City). A whole bunch of people are sitting around, eating candy. The center of attention is a cute guy dressed in purple.  
  
Yui: "Great, where am I now?"  
  
Guy: "Oh, you're awake! Please join our circle!"  
  
Yui: (raises one eyebrow) "Okay… who are you?"  
  
Guy: "I'm Morty. I sell candy to the people of Johto!"  
  
Yui: "…"  
  
Morty: "Here. Since you're sick you can have a free sample." (gives her a blue candy stick)  
  
Yui: "Score!" (eats it quickly)  
  
Morty: "Don't choke!"  
  
Yui: "Whatever!" (twitch) "Candy!"  
  
Some girl: "She's hyper."  
  
Other girl: "Me too!"  
  
Some dude: "We're all hyper!"  
  
And so, the group of crazy children runs through Ecruteak, terrorizing all of the poor citizens with their hyperactivity. All of a sudden, the sky goes dark! Pink lightning bolts crash down, knocking away everyone but Yui and Morty!  
  
Voice: "BWAHAHA!! I have found you, Oracle of Candies!"  
  
A pink blur comes out of the sky, forming into a girl dressed in a really abnormal pink outfit.  
  
Yui: "Great, another weirdo… Who are you?"  
  
Girl: "I am Whitney, the most beautiful girl ever!"  
  
Yui, Morty: (^^;)  
  
Whitney: "Well, anyway, the Oracle of Candies can no longer hide from me! I know who you really are, Morty! Your clever disguise as a candy salesman can't throw me off! I know you are really the legendary Oracle of Candies!"  
  
Morty: "… And exactly what do you want with me?"  
  
Whitney: "Your powers can give anyone enough energy to be hyper forever! If I imprison you and steal your powers, I can keep them all to myself! Then, I will be the only one who can be hyper!"  
  
Yui: (big heroic, super-hero-like voice) "You can't do that, Whitney! I'll stop you!"  
  
Whitney: "Well go ahead, try it!"  
  
Yui runs at Whitney, but she knocks her away with a pink lightning bolt! Then, she grabs Morty by the arm, and they reconfigure into pink energy, heading up into the sky…  
  
Yui: "No!"  
  
Lady's voice: "Don't worry about it."  
  
Yui turns around to see a scary lady dressed in blue!  
  
Lady: "I am Clair, Princess Bugsy's protector."  
  
Yui: "Who the hell is Princess Bugsy?"  
  
Clair: (sweat-drop) "Princess Bugsy is the princess of Johto!"  
  
Yui: "…"  
  
Clair: "Anyway, I'm supposed to give you this." (gives Yui a wooden sword)  
  
Yui: "… This is cheap! The stupid thing is made out of wood! How am I supposed to ruthlessly kill anything with a lousy chunk of wood?"  
  
Clair: "Well, it's all you get! Now, you must go see the Maku Dunsparce to find out what you have to do in order to save Morty."  
  
Yui: "The Maku… Dunsparce? Isn't it supposed to be a wise tree?"  
  
Clair: "Would you stop complaining and go? You're giving me a headache…"  
  
  
  
(Whitney's Secret Hideout)  
  
  
  
Morty is trapped inside a little box, and Whitney is poking the box with her staff.  
  
Whitney: (poke) "Hee hee! This is amusing!" (poke)  
  
Morty: "Stop it! Didn't you say you were gonna steal my powers?"  
  
Whitney: "Oh yeah!" (evil music blares out of nowhere) "Soon, nobody will be hyper but me! And I will rule Johto! HAHAHAHA!!" (points her staff at Morty; he freezes, and his energy transfers to her)  
  
Morty: "Nooo…."  
  
Whitney: "Now I have the powers of the Oracle of Candies!! WAHAHAHA!!"  
  
  
  
(Ecruteak)  
  
Yui decided to explore the city a little bit before she went to see the Maku Dunsparce. She comes upon a small house, and walks in uninvited. For some odd reason, nobody seems to mind… A boy is running stupidly around the room, and a girl sits by a crib rocking a baby.  
  
Yui: (approaching the guy) "What's up your ass?"  
  
Guy: "I am David the seed farmer! My wife Misty and I just had our first child! Go see!"  
  
Yui: "…Okay." (goes to Misty) "Hello!"  
  
Misty: "Hi! This is our first child! But we are having trouble coming up with a name. What would you name it?"  
  
Yui: "Well, you could name her Luna… or Moonsplash, or Stardance…"  
  
Misty: "It's a boy."  
  
Yui: "…Oh. Name him Link."  
  
Misty: "That's a fine name! He seems happy to have it!"  
  
David: "So his name's Link? Wow… What a cool name! Here, have this seed." (gives Yui a weird blue seed)  
  
Yui: "All right, I'll be going…"  
  
Yui then leaves, and soon finds another place in town. The name on the sign says, "Jewelers." She enters. There is a desk, and behind it a wrinkly old man wearing a turban.  
  
Man: "Hello! Welcome to Pryce Jewelers! I am Pryce, the owner!"  
  
Yui: "Great…"  
  
Pryce: "Have you heard of mystical rings? Wearing them gives you all kinds of power! But you need a ring box to carry them. Here, I'll give you one." (gives her a box) "When you find rings, you can get them appraised here later!"  
  
Yui: "This just gets stranger by the minute…" (leaves)  
  
Now, Yui is weirded out by Ecruteak City, so she decides to leave the city and find the Maku Dunsparce. 


	2. The Maku Dunsparce and the Sugar Cube

Chapter 2  
  
  
  
Yui is on her way toward the Maku Dunsparce. There a re a couple of weird looking enemy thingies, but she makes short work of them with her…  
  
Yui: "What are you talking about? This cheap sword couldn't cut through fog!"  
  
Suddenly Clair appears out of nowhere.  
  
Clair: "Here, take this metal sword and stop complaining!"  
  
Yui: "Sweet!" (slashes at a weird pink fluffy thing) "Oh shoot, that was a bunny…"  
  
Bunny: (bleed… die)  
  
Yui: "Heh heh…"  
  
Finally, after destroying many of the weird monster things Whitney had sent after her, Yui finally makes it to the clearing where the Maku Dunsparce lives.  
  
Dunsparce: "Hello, brave hero!"  
  
Yui: "This is sooo pathetic…"  
  
Dunsparce: "You must be Yui, the girl that will save Morty, the Oracle of Candies! I saw you in my dreams!"  
  
Yui: "Oh God, a Dunsparce sees me in his dreams…" (shudders)  
  
Dunsparce: "Sit down, and let me tell you my story. The Oracle of Candies is the only one who has the power to keep the people in Johto hyper! Without him, Johto will be dull and boring!"  
  
Yui: "So what can I do to help him?"  
  
Dunsparce: "You must travel to the 8 temples of Johto and reclaim the 8 Essences of Sugar! Using these Essences, you can break Whitney's evil spell and save Johto!"  
  
Yui: (suddenly) "Can I go out with him?"  
  
Dunsparce: "…What?"  
  
Yui: "Morty! Can I date him if I save him?"  
  
Dunsparce: "…Ask him. But anyway, I had a dream that the first essence was in the Sprout Tower in Violet City. Maybe you should go there."  
  
Yui: "What if I don't want to?"  
  
Dunsparce: "Don't you want to date Morty?"  
  
Yui: "…I'm on my way!"  
  
  
  
Yui runs all the way to Violet City, killing all of Whitney's pink minions.  
  
Yui: (looks at readers) "No more bunny-slaying for me!"  
  
Evil Pink Bunny: "Eee!" (jumps at her)  
  
Yui: "Yah!" (kills it)(looks at readers) "Well, maybe now and then…"  
  
Anyway, back on topic… Yui arrives in Violet that night. She makes her way to the Sprout Tower, which is really tall and scary looking. She reluctantly enters, wielding her sword. There are a whole bunch of scary Whitney-monsters, but she takes care of them easily! Finally, she comes to a small room; the lair of the Mini-Boss.  
  
Yui: "Great. Sometimes these things are harder to beat than the bosses!"  
  
Voice of the Mini-Boss: "Rattata!"  
  
Yui: "…" (sweat-drop) "Yeah right."  
  
Rattata: "Ratta!"  
  
Yui: (kicks it)  
  
Rattata: (falls over)  
  
Suddenly, a little pink fairy appears, along with a warp point. Yui grabs the fairy, and looks at the warp point.  
  
Yui: "What's that?"  
  
Author: "It's a teleport pad that takes you to the bottom of the tower."  
  
Yui: "Well that's useful…"  
  
Author: "Just in case you lose against the Boss."  
  
Yui: "Oh."  
  
Yui continues on, walking slowly up the tower. She finds a couple of cool items, and a couple of dollars, too. She also finds two magical rings!  
  
Yui: "Wow, what can these do?"  
  
Author: "Pryce has to appraise them for you…"  
  
Yui: "Damn it!"  
  
Finally, after a long, tedious climb, Yui finally reaches the top of the tower… and the Boss's Room. A dark figure is standing in the shadows, looking at her. She steps closer, and closer, until finally the mysterious figure steps out of the shadows.  
  
Yui: "…Falkner!"  
  
Falkner: "Um… Hi?"  
  
Yui: "Wow, it's Falkner!" (hugs him) "You are just soooooo cute!"  
  
Falkner: "I am not cute! I am the mighty first boss of the game! If you want the Essence of Sugar, you must defeat me in battle!"  
  
Yui: "Cutie!" (kisses him on the cheek)  
  
Falkner: "…All right, go ahead and get your Essence. Just… Don't do that."  
  
Yui: "Thanks, sweetheart!"  
  
Yui then runs into the final room of the tower, which is behind an evil picture of a Bellsprout. On a pedestal stands a glowing cube. Yui runs and picks it up. It floats above her mystically.  
  
Voice: "You got the Sugar Cube, an Essence of Sugar!"  
  
Yui: (almost drops it) Who said that?"  
  
Falkner: "Heh, sorry, just trying to add to the effect…"  
  
So Yui leaves the Sprout Tower, one Essence heavier. Suddenly, her surroundings go dark, and light sprinkles around her.  
  
Dunsparce's voice: "Thank you, Yui! You found the first Essence of Sugar!"  
  
Yui: "That's rather obvious…"  
  
Dunsparce: "I had another dream… I believe the second Essence may be located in Mt. Mortar by Mahogany Town."  
  
Yui: "Okay, how can you know all this?"  
  
Dunsparce: "Just trust me…" (voice fades)  
  
Yui: "Trust the mystical talking Dunsparce… Right."  
  
But, despite her doubts, Yui heads toward Mt. Mortar, and her second Essence of Sugar. 


	3. The Dungeon of Mt. Mortar

Chapter 3  
  
  
  
After a looong, tedious walk, collecting items and killing little pink Whitney-things, Yui finally got back to Ecruteak City. Yes, she decided to go back there first, to see if there was anything else worth looking at… besides, she wanted to see what happened when you got a ring appraised!  
  
Yui: (entering the jeweler's store) "Hello?"  
  
Pryce: "Aah, so I see you are back! Rings do nothing unless appraised and worn!"  
  
Yui: "So I hear… Listen, I have two rings that I need you to appraise. How long will it take, because I want to get going to Mt. Mortar really soon here…"  
  
Pryce: "It takes only a few seconds, but are you sure you want to get both appraised now? The price is 20 rupees!"  
  
Yui: "Rupees? What're those?" (looks in pouch) "You talking bout these little sparkly-diamond-thingies I've been picking up?"  
  
Pryce: "Right! Now to appraise both rings, it'll be…"  
  
Yui: "I can add, old man!" (hands over 40 rupees and the rings)  
  
Pryce: "Very good!"  
  
So, Pryce promptly placed the pretty, precious rings in the purified potion.  
  
Yui: "Let upon the P words, you loser!"  
  
Author: "Heh…"  
  
Soon, the rings came out of the liquid, bearing little jewels on their bases.  
  
Pryce: (looking at a ring) "Hmm… I call this the Purple Ring! A pretty purple stone!"  
  
Yui: "Isn't it supposed to do something else? Like give me magic powers, or defense or something?"  
  
Pryce: "Well… occasionally those come along…"  
  
Yui: "What's the other one do?"  
  
Pryce: "I think this is Falkner's Ring! It gives you… floaty steps."  
  
Yui: "… Well, I wanna take it with me if it's Fal's!" (takes the ring and puts it in her ring box)  
  
Pryce: "Rings do nothing unless worn!"  
  
Yui: (sigh)  
  
Now, Yui started to head toward Mt. Mortar, and her second step in her adventure.  
  
Yui: "Only seven more to go!"  
  
She confidently enters the deep, dark cave, full of scary, slimy, scaly, snake-like sea serpents!  
  
Yui: "What is with you and repetitive letters?"  
  
Author: "Sorry…"  
  
Anyway, Yui heads deeper into the cave, jumping across the rocks as she does not yet have the item required to swim.  
  
Yui: "But… I can swim just fine! Why do I need an item?"  
  
Author: "…I don't know! It's just how the game works, okay?"  
  
Yui: "…"  
  
Yui gains valuable battle experience, and finds more Rupees and a magical ring. She defeats a lot of weird enemy things, and they drop strange little glowy-heart-things that revive some of Yui's strength. Finally, after a few tedious hours looking through the rooms and opening doors with unusual one-time-use keys, she comes to a small room in the middle of the cave where the Mini-Boss lives.  
  
Yui: "If you make the Mini-Boss another pathetic Rattata, I'll scream. I want a challenge!"  
  
Suddenly, the water below the rocks upon which she is standing begins to tremble, as if something is underneath!! A big wave splashes her, and out of the water comes a scratched-up Magikarp submarine!  
  
Yui: (o-O)  
  
But she doesn't know what she's in for! The top of the submarine opens, and out jumps Jessie, James and Meowth!!  
  
Yui: "…Don't tell me…"  
  
Jessie: "Hah! We are Team Rocket, the mini-boss of this dungeon!"  
  
James: "Now you must suffer our wrath by listening to our motto… again!"  
  
Yui: "NOOO!!!"  
  
Jessie: "Prepare for trouble!"  
  
James: "And make it double!"  
  
Yui: "Please… no… so annoying…"  
  
Jessie: "To protect the world from…"  
  
Yui: "SHUT UP!!" (splashes Jessie with water) "Must you say it every single time you appear! It's so annoying!!" -  
  
Jessie: "I'm melting…melting!!" (evaporates)  
  
James: "No! Jessie!"  
  
Yui: "You're next!"  
  
Meowth: "No! I hate water!"  
  
Yui: "Well, I suggest you two leave before I splash you too!"  
  
Team Rocket, at least what was left of it, quickly packed up and fled from the scene. Yui grabbed her life-reviving fairy, as she needed it from listening to the first bit of the motto… Anyway, she continued on through the cave, picking up more little items and more little golden keys. She also found a treasure box containing Misty's Flippers, the item that allows you to swim!  
  
Yui: "Yeah!" (immediately puts on the flippers and begins to swim)  
  
And it's a good thing she got them, because the next room required her to swim across a big pool to collect a mandatory item, the Boss's Key. This was the only way to get into the room where the Boss of the dungeon was.  
  
Yui: "And, why didn't I need a key to get to Falkner?"  
  
Author: "Stop asking questions!"  
  
Yui: "…"  
  
Yui collected the Boss Key, and backtracked to the first room of the cave. She had to go down an underwater path to get to the underwater door that led to the boss.  
  
Yui: "How interesting, an underwater door with no rust built in a cave where you could not possibly attach a door…"  
  
Author: "Just shut up and go in!"  
  
Yui: "All right, all right…"  
  
Yui dramatically inserts the key into the keyhole, annoying the author further by wondering how she can breathe underwater… She then entered the lair of the Boss. She crawls out of the icy water and stands on a small rock, looking around for the boss.  
  
Boss: "Raaaaaaaaar!"  
  
Suddenly, a huge dragon comes up from underwater, covered with seaweed and rainbow scales!  
  
Yui: "Oh dear…"  
  
The dragon lets out a frightening cry, bends its long neck down to look Yui in the eyes, and opens its mouth wide…  
  
Dragon: "Hi! My name's Bob."  
  
Yui: (sweatdrop)  
  
Bob: "I'm supposed to be fighting you but… you wouldn't believe the stomach ache I have! Could you possibly go down there and find out what's wrong for me?"  
  
Yui: "…This wouldn't just be an excuse so you can get an easy dinner, would it?"  
  
Bob: "Um… No…"  
  
Yui: "Well, whatever. I guess since I'm the gullible hero, I'll go down there and find out what the problem is."  
  
Bob: "Oh, goodie! …I mean… Thank you?"  
  
Yui: (rolls her eyes) "Open up, dragon boy."  
  
So, Bob the dragon opens his mouth, and Yui slides down into the dragon's stomach.  
  
Yui: "You really hate me, don't you?"  
  
Author: "Shut up…"  
  
It is pretty dark inside of the dragon's belly, but Yui is surprisingly able to navigate. She travels further into Bob's body, looking around her darkened surroundings.  
  
Yui: "I really hope I find out what's wrong with him soon… I wanna get out of here!"  
  
Suddenly, a weird red monster-like thing jumps out at Yui, waving its sticky arms around! The crimson beast has many eyes and rows of sharp teeth!!  
  
Yui: "…Could it be? A real fight?"  
  
She slashes at the thing with her sword… it flashes a weird red color and freezes for about a second. Then it fires a weird blob of red energy at Yui!  
  
Yui: "Aah!" (dodges it and slashes at the thing again)  
  
After a few more slashes with her sword, Yui defeats the red monster. A sigh of relief is heard from above.  
  
Bob: "Thank you, Yui!"  
  
Yui: (covers ears) "Okay, okay! Not so loud!"  
  
Bob: "I don't feel hurt anymore! For that, I'll let you leave and collect my treasure!"  
  
Yui: "Okay, great! How do I get out?"  
  
Bob: "If you can find a way to float up to the top here, I'll spit you out."  
  
Yui: "… Wait, I know!"  
  
So, Yui puts on Falkner's Ring! Immediately, her feet feel light, and she jumps up to the top of the dragon's throat.  
  
Bob: (lowers his head so that she can get off) "My treasure is in the room up ahead. You can go get it right now."  
  
Yui: "Thank you!"  
  
She quickly runs into the next room; sitting on a pedestal is a block of chocolate wrapped in pretty silver paper. The essence floats above Yui's head as she raises her arms.  
  
Voice: "You got the Milk Chocolate, an Essence of Sugar!"  
  
Yui: "Shut up, Falkner!"  
  
Falkner: "Leave me alone. I'm supposed to do that every time you get a new essence."  
  
Yui: "Why?"  
  
Falkner: "It was the only way the author could think of to get me more than four lines…"  
  
Yui: (huge sweatdrop) "Where are you anyway?"  
  
Falkner: "… Come on, this is based off a game… it doesn't have to make sense."  
  
Yui: "…"  
  
So, Yui leaves the damp cave with the Milk Chocolate safely tucked away… somewhere, haven't figured out where yet. But as soon as she leaves the cave, the voice of the Maku Dunsparce surrounds her.  
  
Dunsparce: "Good work, Yui! I can feel the power of the Milk Chocolate! Even I feel my hyperactivity returning!"  
  
Yui: (sarcastically) "Beautiful…"  
  
Dunsparce: "I dreamed of the Olivine Lighthouse in the far west region of Johto. You should go there, perhaps there in an Essence hidden there."  
  
Yui: "Yeah, yeah…"  
  
So, with a sigh, Yui heads off for the location of the third Essence of Sugar. 


	4. The Olivine Lighthouse and the Pink Cook...

Chapter 4  
  
  
  
Yui reached the lighthouse in Olivine City in no time at all. She was about to walk inside and get the third Essence of Sugar, but to her surprise, the door to the lighthouse was locked!  
  
Yui: "Great, I'm gonna need one of those little keys, aren't I?"  
  
Author: "I dunno… Why don't you go and find out?"  
  
Yui: "Can't I look up a walkthrough or something?"  
  
Author: (glares)  
  
Yui: "All right! I'll look for a key."  
  
Yui walks through the small village, looking out for a treasure box or a key on the ground. But she finds nothing, and slowly begins to become frustrated.  
  
Yui: "Frustrated? I'm going CRAZY here!"  
  
Suddenly, as Yui is about to give up, she notices a sailor walking up to the lighthouse. She sees him knock on parts of the door in a sequence, and the door opens to admit him to the tower.  
  
Yui: "Spiffy!"  
  
She runs up to the door and begins to furiously pound on it. Suddenly, a buzz rings out, and an electric shock runs through the door, shocking Yui lightly.  
  
Yui: "… Owch."  
  
Guessing that she has to figure out the code for the door in order to get in, Yui walks back into the city and begins to look around for clues. Suddenly, another sailor approaches the door.  
  
Yui: "Excuse me? Can you show me how to open the door?"  
  
Sailor: "This tower's only for the sailors to climb! We're having a problem with the lighthouse and we're trying to figure it out!"  
  
Yui: "Well… I can help you! See, I have a sword! I'm a hero!"  
  
Sailor: "… All right. I'll let you come in with me."  
  
The sailor-man proceeds to knock on the door in a rhythmical pattern, and it swings open with rusty hinges. Yui slowly steps in after him, and dramatically spins around, surprised, as the door slams shut behind her.  
  
Yui: "Well.. Time to search."  
  
Yui begins to climb toward the top of the lighthouse, cautiously looking around for any of Whitney's evil bunnies. To her surprise there are none… the tower had already been cleared out by the sailors. She climbs for twenty minutes straight, and comes to a small room in the middle of the tower where the Mini-Boss lives.  
  
Yui: "Hello? Any Mini-bosses home?"  
  
Voice: "Har, har! I'm here, and ready to fight!"  
  
Yui: "Aah! Evil sailor!"  
  
Sailor: "Leave my tower, or I'll… I'll…"  
  
Yui: "You'll what? Throw your spinach at me?"  
  
Sailor: "…"  
  
Yui: "Hyaa!" (swings her sword at the sailor)  
  
Suddenly, the sailor drops to the ground, fainted. Out of nowhere appears the evil pink bunny that had possessed the sailor!"  
  
Yui: "How does a bunny possess something?"  
  
Author: "Never mind!"  
  
Anyway… Yui makes short work of the bunny with her sword. After collecting her life-reviving fairy, she tries to go further but discovers there are no more stairs to climb!  
  
Yui: "Let me guess… I have to go back to the beginning and start all over and find some different stairs?"  
  
Author: "You got it."  
  
Yui, sighing deeply, enters the small warp point that appeared and teleports back to the front door of the tower. Then, she starts back up the stairs again, this time taking a different route. She drops down into a hole and walks up some stairs on the other side of the tower!  
  
Yui: "Whee… exciting."  
  
Finally, Yui comes to a spot where the floors are moving. At the other end of the moving floor is a big red treasure chest… and below her, solid ground. If Yui fell, her journey would be over.  
  
Yui: "Thanks for the lovely vote of confidence."  
  
She starts across the moving bridges… Hey Yui, I said "she starts moving!"  
  
Yui: (curled up on the floor) "I dun wanna."  
  
Author: (uses her super "control pad" powers to move Yui manually across the moving floors) "I think you'd be better off doing this on your own… I'm really bad with controls…"  
  
Yui: "OKAY!"  
  
So she starts moving across the floor on her own. With agility, she bounds to the other side faster than ever!  
  
Yui: "Great!" (opens the treasure box to reveal the Boss Key, and then runs back to the other side)  
  
Author: "I'd like to bring up now that you could have used Falkner's Ring…"  
  
Yui: "Shut up."  
  
After a little bit more searching, Yui finds the door to the Boss Room. She unlocks the door and enters, climbing one last set of stairs to the very top floor of the lighthouse. Dramatic music surrounds her as she goes further into the room.  
  
Yui: "Um… Is anyone here?"  
  
Suddenly, a huge crash is heard! Yui spins around to see… to see…  
  
Yui: "A giant light bulb?"  
  
Light Bulb: "…" (Light bulbs can't talk, smarty-pants)  
  
Yui slashes at the light bulb with her sword, shattering it. Nothing happens.  
  
Yui: "… I defeated it. What now?"  
  
Author: "You have to clean up the mess before you win! After all, somebody might step on the glass!"  
  
Yui: "Oh, sheesh."  
  
So our heroine sweeps up the glass with a broom, and places it safely in the garbage. Suddenly, a door flies open, admitting Yui into the room with the Essence of Sugar. She runs in to claim the baby-pink circle from the glowing altar.  
  
Falkner's voice: "You got the Pink Cookie, an Essence of Sugar!"  
  
Yui: "Ooh! Is it one of those pink cookies that's purely infected with sugar?"  
  
Falkner: "Yes.. It's called a sugar cookie… DON'T EAT IT YUI!"  
  
His voice startles her, making her drop the cookie that she was about to eat.  
  
Yui: "Why? I love sugar cookies!"  
  
Falkner: "You need it to save Morty! Maybe he'll make you some sugar cookies when you save him!"  
  
Yui: (face lights up) Ooh!! Morty sugar-cookies… whee!"  
  
Yui packs up the Pink Cookie and leaves the Olivine Lighthouse. Light surrounds her as she steps outside.  
  
Voice of Dunsparce: "Well, Yui, you have successfully collected your third Essence of Sugar."  
  
Yui: (sarcastically) "Wow, know what, I didn't know that!"  
  
Dunsparce: "Yui, your next destination is the Slowpoke Well near Azalea Town. You must get the fourth Essence from there!"  
  
Yui: "Can't I take a break?"  
  
Dunsparce: "…"  
  
Author: "All right…" (selects "Save and Quit on the select screen, and turns the game off… until next time!) 


	5. Insanity in the Slowpoke Well

Chapter 5  
  
  
  
Author: "Whoo!" (turns the game back on) "Time for more adventures through Johto!"  
  
On her way to Azalea Town and her fourth Essence of Sugar, Yui decides to stop at Ecruteak City first, to restock on the things she needs. For example, a shield might be helpful…  
  
Yui: "Oh leave me alone! Nobody told me they sold shields in this downer city!"  
  
Author: "You didn't ask."  
  
Yui: "Grrr…"  
  
Anyway, Yui first gets her new magical rings appraised at Pryce's Jewelers. This ring turns out to be another magical ring: Jasmine's Ring, which allows her higher defense. Right after, she heads to the local shop to purchase a shield. She enters the store to see a scary old man without a shirt behind the desk.  
  
Yui: "… Um…"  
  
Man: "Hello! My name is Chuck and I'm your shop keeper!"  
  
Yui: "Yeah… Do you have shields?"  
  
Chuck: "Only the finest!" (holds up a ragged wooden shield)  
  
Yui: -.-U "No thanks."  
  
Chuck: "Are you sure? This is the only place in Johto where you can find a good shield!"  
  
Yui: (sigh) "How much?"  
  
Chuck: "For you, only 30 rupees!"  
  
Yui hands over the rupees, purchasing the incredibly crappy shield. With her new shield equipped on her back, she heads off toward Azalea Town and the fourth dungeon.  
  
Another long two hours later, Yui has been searching throughout the whole land because, even though she thought she knew where she was going, she still got lost.  
  
Yui: "Oh, whatever" (sticks her tongue out)  
  
Author: "Well, same to you."  
  
Yui: "Nyaa."  
  
Finally, after some careful navigation, Yui reaches Azalea Town. It is a pretty big city with a big castle in the middle of it, but Yui pays no attention. All she is thinking about is Morty… as usual…  
  
Yui: "Meow to you too!"  
  
Immediately, Yui finds the deep, dark Slowpoke Well on the outskirts of the big city. She climbs down with caution into the damp well, and begins to navigate it with her flashlight.  
  
Yui: (reaches into her pack but finds no flashlight) "…"  
  
Author: "Oops!!" (takes out magical pencil and draws the flashlight into the story) "All right, you're set!"  
  
Yui: "Thank you."  
  
There are some pretty big monster-like bunny things wandering around down here… it looks like Whitney has caught on to what we're doing! Yui has to use Jasmine's Ring to give herself defense against the creatures, but the effects of it bring down her own sword damage too… This could be harder than we thought.  
  
Yui: "Aah!! Pink evil bunnies! The horror…"  
  
Bunnies: "Here comes Peter Cotton-Tail! Hopping down the bunny trail…"  
  
Yui: "Noo!!!! Not more annoying songs!! (takes off the low-attack ring and slashes crazily at the bunnies)  
  
As the bunnies scream and die behind her, Yui keeps going through the cave, looking for a fairy to help her get the annoying song out of her head…  
  
Yui: "Damn, it's stuck… Here comes Peter… AAH!! Get out of my braaaain!! Wah!"  
  
Finally, Yui reaches the lair of this dungeon's Mini-Boss. She looks cautiously around as the door locks behind her, and out of the darkness steps…. A Slowpoke.  
  
Slowpoke: "Sloooooooowwww…"  
  
Yui: "Heh… heh…"  
  
Slowpoke: "Poke?"  
  
Yui: "I don't want to hurt you… please go away?"  
  
Slowpoke: "……………………………………….Poke." (walks away)  
  
The fairy appears, and Yui grabs it frantically, healing herself from the songs of the evil bunnies. Then, she takes the warp back to the beginning and takes another path across the water, into an underground part of the well.  
  
Yui: "Wow… It sure is pretty down here. I wonder if there's anything interesting down here…"  
  
Suddenly, she notices something sitting at the bottom of the small pool. She takes a deep breath and dives down, retrieving the item, which just happens to be a King's Rock! And, being the smart girl that she is, Yui knows that not only does a King's Rock help certain Pokemon evolve and increase your chances of a critical hit in battle, it can also be used to forge an old shield into a powerful Lv. 2 King's Shield!  
  
Yui: "Wow, really? Cool!"  
  
Author: (sweatdrop)  
  
Yui also finds some more rings at the bottom of the lake; three to be exact. She also finds a lot of rupees, so she'll have no trouble appraising her new treasures!  
  
Yui: "Score!"  
  
Now, Yui must look all over the huge dungeon and find the Boss Key. She goes everywhere, looking in every room possible, but there is no treasure box anywhere!! Confused, Yui begins to backtrack and look in all of the rooms over again.  
  
Yui: "Oh, this is impossible. I must have messed up somewhere… This is too hard!"  
  
Author: "Don't you want to collect all eight Essences of Sugar?"  
  
Yui: "No."  
  
Author: "Don't you want to save Johto?"  
  
Yui: "No."  
  
Author: "…Don't you want to date Morty?'  
  
Yui: "YES!"  
  
With this small incentive, Yui keeps looking around for the key that she needs to get to the boss. Finally, in a small room that she completely overlooked, she finds the key hidden away in a box that was hidden in a dark corner.  
  
Yui: "Oh my god… You mean I passed this room over ten times?"  
  
Author: (nods head)  
  
Yui: (smacks self with Piko Piko hammer) "I'm so dumb…"  
  
Author: "Now ya gotta find the boss room…"  
  
Yui: "… How does Link make a living out of this?"  
  
Soon Yui finds the Boss Room… it wasn't as hard as she thought it'd be.  
  
Yui: "Not hard? I'm freezing! I want to get out of here soon! I'm sick of watery dungeons!"  
  
Yui enters the room, and starts walking toward the back of the room. All she sees is an almost flat figure sprawled out on the ground.  
  
Yui: "Its dinner?"  
  
Man on the ground: "Ugh…"  
  
Yui: "Hey, are you okay? Where's the Boss that hurt you?"  
  
Man: "I AM the Boss!"  
  
The mysterious man slowly gets up, but shortly collapses to the ground again. Yui shines her flashlight to see Kurt, the PokeBall maker.  
  
Yui: (sweatdrop)  
  
Kurt: "I'm supposed to protect the Essence of Sugar for Whitney… But I've fallen and hurt my back. You can go ahead and take the Essence if you really want it."  
  
Yui: "Great, that was easy."  
  
Yui walks into the bright room, and walks up to the altar where her next prize rests. She picks it up, and it floats above her head as all the others had.  
  
…  
  
Yui: "Hey, Falkner, showtime!"  
  
Falkner: "…What? Oh sorry, I was asleep…" (yawns)  
  
Yui: "Can you get on with your line? My arms are getting sore!"  
  
Falkner: "Oh yeah! You got the Creamy Danish, an Essence of Sugar!"  
  
Yui: "Oh man, I love Danishes…" (stares at it intently)  
  
Falkner: "Do NOT eat the Danish, Yui!"  
  
Yui: "… Fine. I guess I can just use my rupees to buy myself a box of those Pop-Tart danish things…"  
  
Then, finally, Yui leaves the Slowpoke Well. Dunsparce's voice echoes around her as she leaves.  
  
Dunsparce: "Good job Yui!"  
  
Yui: "Uh-huh…"  
  
Dunsparce: "Yui… Your next mission is to go to Ecruteak City, and visit the Burnt Tower. I believe there may be an essence there."  
  
Yui: "Oh, back there, okay! At least I know where that is!"  
  
And so, Yui's quest continues as she heads back to Ecruteak City. Who knows what kinds of adventures await her in the Burnt Tower?  
  
Yui: "Oh, miss Author Person?"  
  
Author: "Yes?"  
  
Yui: "Shut up."  
  
Author: "… Sorry."  
  
Yui: "If you ever get sappy like that again, we can pretend you're a cute pink bunny."  
  
Author: "… Well, until next time!" 


	6. The Burnt Tower of Ecruteak

Chapter 6  
  
  
  
Yui makes it back to Ecruteak City within that evening. Her first stop is to Pryce's Jewelers, to appraise her rings and ask about her shield.  
  
Pryce: "Oh, do come in! Welcome to Pryce's Jewelers!"  
  
Yui: "Yes, I know… I want to get these rings appraised."  
  
Pryce: (appraises the rings) "Let's see, what have we got here… Well! Two of them are pretty blue and red stones!"  
  
Yui: "What about the third?"  
  
Pryce: "I think I'll call this Morty's Ring! …Become transparent. That's what this ring does."  
  
Yui: "Wow, that's excellent! I want to carry this one too."  
  
Pryce: "Go ahead. Your ring box can carry up to three rings at once."  
  
Yui: "All right." (takes the ring)  
  
Author: "Wait a minute… You're only supposed to start off with the Level 1 ring box, that lets you carry only one ring! Why does she have the Level 2 box?"  
  
Pryce: "… Whatever."  
  
Yui: "Nyaa!"  
  
Pryce: "Will there be anything else?"  
  
Yui: "Yes… I'm interested in getting a shield upgrade. Can you do that?" (hands him the shield and King's Rock)  
  
Pryce: "Of course! Here, just wait one second…"  
  
And sure enough, one second later, Pryce returns with the King's Shield for Yui.  
  
Yui: "How'd you do that so fast?"  
  
Pryce: "The magic of RPGs."  
  
Yui: "Whatever."  
  
So she leaves, and ventures all the way across the city to the Burnt Tower in the north.  
  
Yui: "What a long trip. Wow…"  
  
The tower is fairly short… most of it has already burnt out. Still, it looks like a pretty big place… Yui steps carefully inside, looking around for anything that might stand in her way.  
  
Yui: "This place is creepy… Everything's totally wrecked. How can there be an essence here?"  
  
After exploring the first floor and finding nothing but a key, Yui goes down into the basement of the tower, where things really start to get interesting…  
  
Yui: "What's with all the walls?"  
  
The bottom of the tower is like a maze! There are walls, locked doors, fallen support beams… It's almost impossible to navigate!  
  
Yui: "Hey, I don't remember it being like this in the episode…"  
  
Author: "Watch it!"  
  
Yui: "Huh?" (trips over a block of wood)  
  
Oh no! She's gonna hit the wall!! … Wait! She just fell right through the wall! That's not normal!  
  
Yui: (puts her hand through the wall) "It's not really a wall. It's just an illusion!"  
  
Author: "Great… All you have to do is determine which walls are real, and which walls are illusions. That way, you can get through and go down to the next level."  
  
Yui: "There's a next level?"  
  
Author: "Yes. Now keep going."  
  
So Yui does, carefully tapping each wall to make sure it's an illusion before walking through it. Finally, she comes to a dead end… all there is around her is a locked door. She opens it with her key, and keeps going, coming to a chest containing another key and a stairway leading down to another basement of the tower.  
  
Yui: "Whee… This is getting tedious. I don't want to walk any further!"  
  
But she keeps going…  
  
Yui: "Why?"  
  
Author: "You need this Essence of Sugar, Yui. Keep going."  
  
Yui: "All right all right…"  
  
As Yui comes to the room of the Mini-Boss, she prepares her sword to attack. Little does she know the sword will do her no good here.  
  
Voice: "Gastly!"  
  
Yui: "Oh no, Ghosts!! This isn't good! My sword won't even faze them!"  
  
The Gastly: "Gaas!!" (flying toward her)  
  
Yui: "What do I do what do I do?"  
  
The only way Yui can defeat the monsters is to confuse them… maybe by becoming transparent herself…  
  
Yui: "That's it!" (puts on Morty's Ring) "Look, Gastly! I'm one of you, see?"  
  
The Gastly: "Gastly!!" (smile and fly away)  
  
Yui's life-reviving fairy appears, along with a small portal back up to the top. She explores the bottom half of the tower a little more, but there are no more rooms or passageways that she hasn't visited.  
  
Yui: "Great, where do I go now? …Huh? What's that?"  
  
Yui has spotted a treasure box! She runs to open it, revealing a length of rope.  
  
Yui: "Ooh… Wonder what this is for."  
  
Author: "Looks like you're gonna have to go back upstairs… there's nothing else down here."  
  
Yui: "All right…"  
  
She takes the portal in the Mini-Boss room, ending up back on the main level of the tower. She looks around for the longest time, but still nothing.  
  
Yui: "I was right! There's no Essence of Sugar here!"  
  
Author: "Don't be so sure…"  
  
To Yui's left there is a small pulley with a hook you can attach a rope to.  
  
Yui: "Oh…"  
  
She swings the rope up and around the little hook, and makes a small seat for herself by looping and knotting one end of the rope. Then, suing the other end, she pulls herself up to the roof of the tower. The ground is charred and unstable, but Yui is still able to step lightly upon the ground. Up there is a large podium, nesting the fifth Essence of Sugar.  
  
Yui: "Hey, that was easy!"  
  
She starts running toward the Essence. All of a sudden, the sky above her darkens, and a pink lightning bolt crashes in front of her.  
  
Whitney: "Well, hello, little meddler."  
  
Yui: "Huh? What are you doing here?"  
  
Whitney: "I'm going to stop you from getting any further than this!"  
  
Yui: "We'll see…"  
  
The two immediately engage in battle, swords locking one another's with sparks flying in every direction. Whitney takes a sharp shot at Yui's side, but she quickly blocks it with her new shield and retaliates, catching the princess-in-pink across the face.  
  
Yui: "Give up. I'm too good at this."  
  
Whitney: "Yeah, right. You'll never have the power to save Morty!"  
  
Yui: "Well, you'll never have the power to confine him! I will save him!"  
  
With that, Yui deals one last blow to the princess, shattering her into millions of bits of energy. She looks up at the sky, which is becoming lighter and bluer.  
  
Yui: "I defeated you, Whitney! Now there's no need to collect the rest of the Essences! Give Morty back!"  
  
Suddenly, a darkness in the sky flares up, and a gust of wind billows around Yui. Rain pours down, and she shivers as she listens to the voice in the sky.  
  
Whitney: "You think I'd actually come to fight you myself? That was just a copy of me, another illusion of the tower!"  
  
Yui: "What? That's impossible!"  
  
Whitney: "Collect your little Essences of Sugar! Come and see me! Only then will I show you my true powers!"  
  
Yui: "…"  
  
Whitney: "Just remember this… You will never restore Johto! Never!"  
  
Yui: "You little… Whatever."  
  
Through the rain and the wind, Yui steps forward to the podium and picks up the Essence of Sugar. Holding it high above her head, a light shines around her, driving away the forceful elements of nature.  
  
Falkner: "You got the Sour Cherry, an Essence of Sugar!"  
  
Yui: "It's about time, too. Where are you, Dunsparce? Where do I go now? I want to finish Whitney once and for all!"  
  
Voice of Dunsparce: "Yui… well done. I see you are more determined now than ever."  
  
Yui: "Whitney will die."  
  
Dunsparce: "Very cute. Now, I want you to go to the Ice Path north of Blackthorn City. There is an Essence there that will surely be helpful to you."  
  
Yui: "Blackthorn City? I'm on it!"  
  
With this, she stupidly jumps from the top of the tower, and due to "the magic of RPGs" she doesn't get hurt. Go figure. Anyway, she sets off for Blackthorn City in search of her third essence, raring to go with her new confidence in her heart.  
  
Yui: "Wait a minute…"  
  
Author: "What now?"  
  
Yui: "…That evil little Dunsparce called me cute!!" 


	7. Yui's 'Trip' Through the Ice Path

Chapter 7

                In some means that we cannot explain, Yui managed to make it to Blackthorn City within a few hours. Equipped with sword, shield, and strength of mind, she continues to the north of the city, where her sixth challenge and sixth Essence await her. 

                Yui: "Unfortunately, our smart author lost her planning sheet, so she's not exactly sure _what the next Essence is…"_

                Author: "Heh… Shut up, Yui. Anyway… Hey! Stop staring at me like that! It's not like I intentionally lost it!!" (sweatdrop)

                Yui: "But anyway, I make my way up to the Ice Path…"

                Author: "HEY! I am narrating! You are adventurising!"

                Yui: "I'm… what, now?" 

                Author: "Oh, give me a break! It's four in the morning!"

                Yui: "Go to bed then."

                Author: "NOT until this chapter is done!!"

                Yui: "Okay, okay!"

                So, ANYWAY, Yui goes north of Blackthorn and enters the freezing cold, dreary Ice Path, and immediately wishes she had brought a coat with her. 

                Yui: (shivering) "Damn you…" 

                Hehe… The first thing Yui does is look for the right path to take. 

                Yui: "The first thing Yui does is demand a god damned coat, unless the author wants me to walk out of here, right here right now!"

                Oh, for crying out loud… Fine. I now use my superior author/narrator/psychopath powers to give Yui a nice warm coat. Happy?

                Yui: "Very." 

                ALL RIGHT!!! Now, Yui walks forward toward a path, and… immediately slips on a patch of ice!!! She slides across the cave, and falls down a black hole, where she sees a bunch of treasure chests, blocks of ice, and scary evil pink Whitney monsters! Yui fights the surprisingly strong enemies, defending with her shield and killing the evil things off with her sword. Finally, she opens the treasure chests, revealing a key, some rupees and some rings, and then goes to leave the room. 

                Yui: "So what now? There's no way outta this dump!"

                Little does Yui know that the secret lies in the surrounding blocks of ice. She must push them around to make a certain pattern that'll open the door. 

                Yui: "Thanks!"     

                D'oh… Heh. Due to the author's inability to keep her mouth shut, Yui begins to push the blocks around the room. But one small push sends the block flying all the way to the other end, so she must be very careful. 

                Yui: "Dum dee dum.. There we go!" 

                (looks) o_O …And from overhead… The blocks have formed a perfect image of Morty, the Oracle of Candies… Heh heh…  

                Yui: "Ta-dah!" 

                Er… Yeah. The door swings open, allowing Yui admittance to the next room. This, really, is just a long corridor with a locked door at the other end. Yui uses her key, moving on steadily. 

                The next room appears to be the room of the Mini-boss… the door shuts behind Yui, and another door at the other end slams shut as well. Yui jumps, and nervously looks around, but sees nothing. Suddenly, two shadows drop out from the ceiling…. 

                Yui: "AAAAH!!" 

                And Yui screams in fear, as she spots…

                Yui: "Not in fear!! That was my crazy fangirl scream!! Look!" (points)

                (looks) o_O 

                Yui: "Will! What are you doing here?"

                Will: "Umm… I'm training my Jynx.  What are _you doing here?"_

                Yui: "I'm looking for the Essence of Sugar that's here. Heehee… What are _you doing here?" _

                Will: "I'm… Hey! You asked me that already!" 

                Yui: "I know! Heehee!" 

                Will: O_o

                Yui: "Well, aren't you the Mini-Boss? If you are, I have to fight you…" (glares at the author) I am not gonna hurt Will!" 

                Author: "Hehehe…" 

                Yui: "I'm not gonna!"

                Author: "Yes, you are."

                Yui: "Am NOT!" 

                Author: "Are SO!" 

                Yui: "No!"

                Author: "Yes!" 

                Will: "QUIET!! Ugh… I'm leaving. You two are giving me a headache." *poof*

                Yui: "…Ha!" 

                Whatever…. Yui makes her way into the next room… into a room of very slippery ice! 

                Yui: "Oh, huzzah…" 

                Once you step on the ice, you slide until you hit something. You'll have to find the right pattern to slide to get you to the path on the other side. 

                Yui: (steps onto the ice, slides forward and crashes into a rock) @_@ (falls over) "How do I survive this?" 

                So, Yui slides around for a good two hours, crashing into wall after wall until finally reaching the other path. She keeps walking, opening many doors, solving many puzzles, and hitting many walls due to the slippery ice. By the time she reached the room of the Boss, she was freezing cold and bruised all over. 

                Yui: "Owchie…." 

                Author: "Yui… did you find the Boss key?" 

                Yui: (holds up a key, and falls over) 

                Good… Yui recovers from her injuries, and uses the Boss Key on the door. Cautiously, she walks inside, and looks around at the huge room filled with iced floors and boulders the size of houses. Our hero draws her sword, and steps forward into the blue room… 

                Voice: "Who dares enter my cave?" 

                Yui: "Eep…" 

                Voice: "Well, do I get an answer?"

                Yui steps forward to see a figure shaped like a Pokemon standing there… A familiar, powerful Pokemon… 

                Yui: "…You're Mewtwo!" 

                Mewtwo: "Yes… Now, why are you disturbing me in my place of rest?"

                Yui: "Um… I was just looking for the Essence of Sugar…"

                Mewtwo: (in a softer, more distant voice now) "Well, you… damn is this thing even on?"

                Yui: "Excuse me?" 

                Mewtwo: "Er… Nothing! Just don't look over there… Ah! Really, don't!"

                Yui: "Where?" (looks to the left)

                What's this? A strange red curtain… Yui walks over to the curtain and pulls it back to see a man with red spiked hair, messing around with some kind of weird machine… 

                Man: "Er…" (into a microphone) "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!! Ahehehe…"

                Yui: "I know you! You're that Pokemon Champion guy! Lance!" 

                Lance: "Um… I am Mewtwo!! Lance over there is just a trick of the mind!" (Suddenly, the machine fails, and the holographic projection of Mewtwo fades away)

                Yui: (taps her foot) "Well?"

                Lance: (sweatdrop) "Um… Yeah."

                Yui: "That was a mean thing to do… You're a very bad man, Mr. Lance." 

                Lance: "I'm sorry, but it was the only way I could protect the Essence of Sugar!" 

                Yui: "Why would you want to protect the Essence? Whitney wants to rid Johto of hyperactivity! Why would you support that?"

                Lance: "I don't… I'm just scared that she'll hurt me if I don't." 

                Yui: "Well, how about this. You let me take that Essence, and I'll defeat Whitney and save you. Deal?"

                Lance: "Okay! The Essence is in the room up ahead."

                Yui: "Great! Thanks, Lancey!" 

                Lance: "Don't… call me that…"

                So, Yui walks into the last room of the Ice Path, where she sees the normal glowing pedestal. She runs forward, and holds her new Essence proudly for all to see. 

                Falkner: "You got the Angel's Cake, an Essence of Sugar!" 

                Yui: "Mmm…. Cake…"

                Falkner: "NO, Yui." 

                Yui: "Ugh… As soon as this adventure is over, these Essences are mine!" 

                Falkner: (rolls eyes)

                Yui: "…Hey, wait! You're not even here at the moment! How can you roll your eyes if we can't see you?" 

                Falkner: "The author's had no sleep. Give her a break." 

                Yui: "…"

                Finally, Yui teleports out of the Ice Path to be greeted by the voice of Dunsparce… 

                Dunsparce: "Very well done, Yui! Now, only two Essences remain. I'd like you to come and see me now, so that I can tell you where the next Essence lies." 

                Yui: "But I never had to go there before!" 

                Dunsparce: "Well… You have to now!"

                Yui: "Fine…" 

                And, in an hour's trip, Yui arrived back in the small clearing of forest where the Maku Dunsparce lives. He's a little bit bigger than he was before, and behind him, there's a pretty girl in a green dress. 

                Yui: "Who's she?" 

                Girl: "I'm Jasmine, the Oracle of Secrets! I can help you unlock all the secrets of Johto!"

                Yui: "Oh… I see."

                Dunsparce: "Yui, I have found your next destination for you… You must go to Goldenrod, and find the Essence of Sugar that's in the Department Store there."             

                Yui: "Department store?" 

                Dunsparce: "Yes. Goldenrod City has the biggest mall in Johto." 

                Yui: "OOH! Shopping!!!"

                Dunsparce, Jasmine: (facefault, and loud sighs)

                Yui: "I'm on my waaaay!" 

                And so, in conclusion of another chapter, Yui heads off toward Goldenrod City, for her next Essence of Sugar and a huge shopping spree!! Whee!


	8. A Crazy Shopping Trip in Goldenrod City

Chapter 8

            Our adventure continues today with Yui on her way to the Goldenrod Department Store. There is a reason for the delay in the adventure… I'll tell you later when I think of it. *nervous sweatdrop*

                Yui: "Sure. Lazy baka." 

                Author: "Must you always listen in on the conversations between my readers and me?" 

                Yui: "Yes." 

                Author: "Grr… Whatever."

                Anyway… Yui reaches the Goldenrod Department Store, and instantly runs inside, ready to shop! Unfortunately, pink bunnies are jumping around the shelves, knocking priceless valuables on the ground. 

                Yui: *watches a crystal vase smash on the floor* "Meh… Can be replaced." 

                *watches a weird statue of a Mr. Mime crash down* "Meh… Ugly thing anyway." 

                *watches a box of chocolates tip over, its contents emptying all over the dust-covered floor* "…NO! Anything but that! Okay, that's it!"

                Yui then proceeds to go on one of her crazy rampages, slicing the pink bunnies into little shreds with her sword. After every single bunny in the area has been viciously killed, she kneels beside the chocolates, trying to scoop some of the clean ones back into the box.

                Yui: "Don't worry… *sniff* It'll be okay… Poor little things…

                Sadly, she could not salvage them all, and the dirty, inedible ones disappeared into thin air, like many items do if you don't pick them up in time. o_O Weird enough…

                Yui:  "Poor, poor chocolates… They were so young…" 

                Author: "Yui, there are other boxes over on the table there." 

                Yui: "Yay!" ^_^ *runs to the table and starts stuffing her face with chocolate* "Hey! This stuff helps me feel energized!" 

                With a bit of quick thinking, Yui realizes that the chocolates do in fact restore bits of her power. So, she takes a couple of boxes with her. Where she puts them is still unknown, and might want to remain unknown. Double o_O. 

                Yui: -_-;;;

                Can't explain that one, huh? Anyway, Yui continues on to the second floor of the department store. Up there… she sees something so terribly frightening… Even more terrifying than pink bunnies!!!

                Yui: "… Um… Magenta bunnies?"

                Author: "…Okay, so I couldn't really think of anything worse that pink bunnies. But… Magenta is kind of a darker pink, right?" 

                Yui: "Point taken. Magenta bunnies must DIE!" 

                So, yeah, this part pretty much explains itself. Yui makes short work of the evil magenta bunnies, and finds a small key among the ruins of flesh and fur. Of course, the bunny remains also disappear into the air, but I can't even explain that properly. It's just weird. 

                Yui: *annoyed* "Can I go see where this key leads now? Is that alright with you?" 

                Author: "Go ahead, PRINCESS!" 

                Yui: "Why, thank you." *walks forward* 

                Author: *sweatdrop* 

                Yui goes on to find out that the key, in fact, leads to the staircase which takes her to the third floor of the store. Up there, there does not seem to be much… but a strange tune is playing. The music that could only mean one thing… there is a nearby mini-boss!

                Yui: "Oh, sheesh… For once, I'm hoping this is a challenge." 

                Voice: "HI!!!" 

                Yui: "…Oh, no." 

                Voice: "HEY! Do you have a Drowzee?? I'll trade it to you for my Machop!!!" 

                Yui: o_o

                Yes… It is none other than the Annoying Little Kid Who Wants To Trade And Won't Leave You Alone Until You Do! 

                Yui: "This game just keeps getting harder and harder." -_-;; 

                Kid: "So? You want to trade me now? Huh? Huh? Huh? 

                Yui: "I can't! I don't even have a Drowzee!" 

                Kid: "Aww, that's too bad. You'd have a lot of fun raising my Machop. It's really great and energetic and…"

                Yui: "So why don't you raise it then?" 

                Kid: "… Because I want a Drowzee!" 

                Yui: "Well… Too bad. I don't have a Drowzee, so you won't be trading me for one." 

                Kid: "Then you can stay here!" 

                Yui: "…Help…"

                Kid: "…Wait… Are those chocolates there behind your shield?" 

                Yui: *pulls them out* "Yep!"

                Kid: "Hey, do you want to trade me some of those chocolates? I have this nifty silver key that you might like to have!" 

                Yui: "…Chocolates… Key. Chocolates… Key. Ugh… Life's full of tough decisions."           

                Author: "Yui, you need that key to go on. Besides, you don't have to give him all the chocolate. Just some of it." 

                Yui: "…Sounds good to me!" *hands over a half-empty box of chocolates, and receives the silver key from the kid* 

                Kid: "Thanks!" *runs off* 

                Yui: "Okay… Now to get up to the fourth floor!" 

                And… she does so. Not much to explain there. Using the key, she gains access to the fourth floor, and quickly zips through it, killing a few pink and magenta bunnies. There aren't that many obstacles on this floor, but there are a lot of rupees and one ring. So, Yui makes it to the fifth floor pretty quickly. 

                Yui: "I'm hoping this is where the boss is. I really want to get out of here; this mall has no cool clothes in it." 

                On the fifth floor… is a bunch of aisles full of clothes. Yes, I know, this is much different from the Goldenrod Department Store in the game, but this isn't the actual game. Remember? ^_~

                Yui: "Wow… Lots of pretty clothes… Whee…"

                And, since the store is pretty much deserted due to the attacks of the evil Whitney-bunnies, there are no clerks, so Yui takes as much clothes as she can fit under her shield, and moves on. (Kids, please do not try this at your local department store. Chances are the clerks have not been scared away by insane pink bunnies, and they will most likely catch you, and then you will be in very big trouble. Thank you.) 

                Yui: "Hey, check this out! I got a headband just like Morty's!" *fits it around her forehead* 

                Author: "…Very stylish."

                Yui: ^____^

                Anyway, the sixth floor is just ahead. This is the final floor on the entire building, other than the roof, and hopefully Yui has discovered her boss key during her shopping spree, so she can move on and get her Essence. 

                Yui: *holds it up* "Let's go. I want sugar!"

                Very well… Yui goes up to the sixth and final floor…

                Yui: "We've already made that clear." 

                Author: "Ssh! I'm building suspense!" 

                Yui: "…Poorly, I might add." 

               Yes, yes… She goes up to the sixth floor to find an empty room besides a few vending machines and a few tables. She looks around, not seeing anything unusual… Suddenly, for lack of a better idea, the biggest vending machine comes to life, and starts shooting cans of Fresh Water, Soda Pop and Lemonade at Yui!

                Yui: "Eep!! Evil vending machine!!"

                She hits the cans back at the machine with the hilt of her sword, shattering the glass panel on the front. In turn, the vending machine starts showering her with aluminum cans!

                Yui: "OW! This hurts!" *drops to the ground, avoiding all of the cans* 

                Vending Machine: "…." 

                Oh, right, vending machines can't talk. But it was moving… It jumped toward Yui, and rose right above her, ready to crush her!

                Yui: o_o *swings her sword upward*

                With the force of the sword, Yui smashes the vending machine to pieces. It, along with all of the pop cans, disappear, and Yui is able to continue up to the roof where the Essence of Sugar is. 

                Yui: "Isn't that obvious?"

                Author: "So? I like stating the obvious." 

                Yui: "Whatever… Let's go get the Essence and get out."

                She goes up to the rooftop, and walks to the pedestal where the seventh Essence is resting. She picks it up, a light shining proudly above her head as she shows off her second-last Essence of Sugar. 

                Falkner: "You got the Fudge-Covered Brownie! Whee, you're almost finished!" 

                Yui: "Ooh, another fun Essence… Why can't I eat them?" 

                Falkner: "Because then all of your efforts would go to waste, and you wouldn't get Morty back. You can eat them after the adventure is done."

                Yui: "But it's so long to wait…" 

                Falkner: "You can live with it."          

                Suddenly, Dunsparce's words echo through Yui's head…

                Dunsparce: "Great job, Yui! There is only one Essence remaining… One Essence that will spell the end for Whitney and her evil reign over hyperactivity!"

                Yui: "Um… Yeah. Right." *thinks to herself* 'Crazy Dunsparce…'           

                Dunsparce: "Now, you must go to the Whirl Islands that are north of Cianwood City to find your last piece of this puzzle." 

                Yui: "Okay. Can you go away now?" 

                Dunsparce: "…Fine. But don't come crying to me when you need help."

                Yui: "Okay. Not like I care." 

                And so, Yui sets off to her final destination. The final chapters are nearing… Will Yui find her final Essence of Sugar? Will Whitney and her pink and magenta bunnies be defeated? Will Morty _really go on a date with Yui? _

                Yui: "Sounds like a soap opera…" 

                Hehe… Yeah. Join us next time!! *Save… CLICK!* 


End file.
